Friday, September 22, 2006

Maybe I'm just feeling contemplative

I don't typically do survey sort of things, but I've been feeling especially contemplative. Feel free to skip this, although this does allow for some insight into my psyche, for those who rush in where angels fear to tread.

1) Single, Crushin', Interested, or in a Relationship?
I have a mild crush (on someone on my friends list no less!) but my scholarly discipline outweighs my romantic fervor…for the time being at least.

2) Are you happy with where you are?

Well, specifically no. I'd like to be in bed. On the macro level, yes. I'm happier now than I have ever been and I can only see my life improving from here.

3) When you meet the right person, do you fall fast?
I'm not sure. Introduce me to the right person. History has shown I've fallen for the wrong ones quickly enough.

4) Have you ever had your heart broken?
yes, but I'm thankful for each time it's happened.

6) Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you?

I think it's easy to say no, and truly for anything barring a marriage --or a relationship heading in that direction-- my answer is definitely no. However, marriage is a sacrament --a perfect law-- and we are imperfect human beings.

7) Have you talked about marriage with someone?

Yes, mostly along the lines of "Poodle, if we're not married by the time we're 60, let's go to Vegas"

8) Do you want children?
I love children, but I suspect my calling towards being a pastor to a parish might preclude traditional motherhood.

9) How many?
Children come in many forms and ages. I hope I'll be given the grace to care for whoever needs me.

10) Would you consider adoption?
I think adoption is a wonderful, in some ways ethically preferable, means of creating a family.

11) If somebody liked you right now, what do you think a cool way to let you know would be?
Plainly. Which takes a lot of courage. Truth be told I'm not sure if I have that sort of courage. I can't imagine how lovely it would be to get --and nerve-wracking it would be to send-- a message simply saying. "I like you and want to know you better. Would you like to go out with me?"

12) Do you enjoy playing hard to get?

No. I'm sure those who play hard to get have their reasons for doing so, but if someone is going to make themselves vulnerable to me by showing their emotions, I have a moral duty to respond gently and graciously.

13) Be honest, do you play the "game" when you are dating?
I have in the past and it hasn't be successful. In fact, I think in retrospect it's cowardly.

14) Do you believe love at first sight exists?
Yes, though I'm not sure it's enough to sustain a relationship.

15) Are you a romantic?
I am, but not naively so. I think true romance comes from gentle and noble hearts, and is much rarer than the garden variety that comes free with a dozen red roses and a big diamond ring.

16) Do you believe that you can change someone?
No, but you can open yourself up to be a minister of change. Not that I haven't struggled (and still struggle) with trying to change people.

17) If you could get married anywhere, money not an object, where would it be?
I'd like to be married in the body of a spiritual community in which I am feel the presence of Christ among us. Other than that it's all geography.

18) Sex buddies - good or bad?
I understand them, but for me, sex without a deep emotional connection and commitment is more damaging than it is exciting. Took a lot of trial and error to figure that out.

19) Do you easily give in when you are fighting?
I don't often fight, mostly because I tend not to care if someone disagrees with me. However, if I have a moral conviction that something is right or wrong, no argument, effort or fighting can sway me.

20) Do you have feelings for someone right now, whether they know or not?
I suspect I do.

21) Have you ever wished you could've had someone but you messed it up?

I have relationships that might have succeeded had I behaved different than I did, but I'm happy where those actions lead me.

22.) Have you broken a heart?
I don't think so. There are a lot of fragile people in the world, and I've discovered one of my gifts is that while I am extremely tender (for good and ill), I'm not fragile. I shall not be broken in spirit (body is another matter. I'm lucky if I can go through the day without going tits over teacups down the stairs)I think part of my calling is to be able to take some of that brokenness upon myself and reflect on it in a positive way.

23.)What would happen if you found another person in bed with your bf/gf?
I would grieve. I don't know how else I would act out, but it would only be a manifestation of grief. Betrayal has featured prominently in my past --Hi mom!--and it's one of the most difficult things I wrestle with.

24.) Would u ever fight somebody over your significant other?
I would fight for their honor or for their sake, but if my S/O wants to be with someone else, I won't arm wrestle to prove my worthiness.

25.)What would u say about your ex?

He, like all of us (I suspect) a good person who has done bad things.


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