Friday, September 08, 2006

Truth be told

It's been interesting, these past few months, learning what I really need to function well. I think I'm figuring these things out as part of the "formation" process. It's occuring to me, more and more distinctly, that priest is a full time job, and once you've accepted a position within a parish, you're never NOT on-call.

Here are some things I've learned:

I need 9 or 10 hours of restful sleep a night. Every night. Obviously I don't GET 9 or 10 hours of restful sleep, but I've figured out that's what my body needs, so I try to get it at least 3 nights a week, and 8 hours at least 5 nights.

I love entertaining. My apartment has become somewhat of an Island of Misfit Toys in that folks who don't typically have a lot of social interaction can feel free to invite themselves over for dinner (with notice of course). Sometimes it's tedious. Okay, a lot of times it's tedious, still I enjoy it.

I need a lot of quiet time. I will entertain every night, and some weeks I do, but only if I've made sure to have at least a few pockets of "stolen" time where I can lounge around in my pajamas watching DVDs with my dog.

I don't feel guilty about anything. Maybe I should, but I don't. In fact, there's really only one thing I even regret doing (and I'm not about to say what it was). I think priests are supposed to feel guilty and tormented. Well, sometimes I'm tormented. Not by anything new just the basic "if God is good why do bad things happen?" and that sort of stuff. I think because maybe I have never set myself up as an example of a Good Christian (thank goodness because I'm a pretty crap Christian, especially if you ask Jerry Falwell). I'm just a struggling one who happened to be called to ministry (how'd THAT happen, by the way?).

I'm extraordinary. I know that sounds cheesy, but c'est la guerre. My bizarre life experiences, my creepy insight into people (I may not be able to read minds, but it's uncomfortably close) plus the whole "receiving the ecstasy" thing. It's weird. It's not that I do anything to provoke it, but there it is. Been like that since I was a kid and I told everyone my great grandmother --who had alzheimers but was in perfect health otherwise-- was going to die before I came back from my school camping trip later that week. She did.

I'm happy being single. I mean, there's happy being single (as in, that's what you tell yourself) and actually being happy being single...preferring it even. For a long time I was in column A but now when I think of being in a relationship, I think "that would be nice...once I get out of divinity school."

Well that's it. Time to go home. Happy weekend, everybody.


Anonymous glen said...

Truth be told ...
I have a great deal of confidence that people who describe themselves as "Bad Christians are at least striving in the path of god (in Arabic that’s "jihad fi sabil illah.")
It’s the folks who style themselves as "Good Christians" that I worry about. This mistrust of the self-righteous holds true for any religious or non-religious belief systems.

10:46 AM  
Blogger Marie said...

Great post. I love the part about you being extraordinary. And about being a "bad" Christian. And about that call thing, I'm still wondering how'd THAT happen, too. If you get the answer, tell me, okay?

8:18 PM  

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