RIP Cujo Poindexter

Cujo Poindexter, my spite-filled adding machine, died today. He went to his death doing what he loved most in life: screwing with me and trying to take my fingers off at the knuckle. Prior to his demise he had been involved in a long-term relationship with Stacy from Accounts Payable. The two separated last year. Funeral arrangements will be held in the black trashbin by my desk. The family asks you send toner in leiu of flowers.