Friday Five: Dental

1. Are you a regular patron of dentists' offices? Or, do you go
a) faithfully, as long as you have insurance, or
b) every few years or so, whether you need it or not, or
c) dentist? what is this "dentist" thing you speak of?

I avoided my dentist for two years because every time I went in the dental hygienist tried to set me up with her son. I mean EVERY TIME for SEVEN YEARS. He sounded nice enough "a nationally ranked cyclist" and 6'4", but I was in a relationship or just not up to going on a blind date. So late last year I agreed to let her give him my number. Did he call? No, he MYSPACED me. Lame. Second, was he in fact a "nationally ranked cyclist"? No, he is a grown man who competes in BMX BIKE races.

Still, out of kindness and because You Just Never Know, I agreed to meet him --making sure to have a back-up date (the super cute stand-up bass player for a band that played at my birthday party)-- did he show up? NO. Why? Because he "doesn't go out much" and got invited to a birthday party that "sounded a lot more fun."

Social skills, anyone?

2. Whatever became of your wisdom teeth?
Had them pulled out a few years ago. I don't remember much, other than getting wheeled to the car with my arms straight out, singing the theme to Rocky. I think perhaps I was on drugs.

3. Favorite thing to eat that's BAAAAAD for your teeth.
Extra-Hot Atomic Fireballs! I had to instate an Fireball Embargo a few years ago because I love them so much I'd just suck on them all day. One day I had like, 10 in a row or something and lost feeling in my chin for an hour!

4. Ever had oral surgery? Commiserate with me.
Just the reg'lar wisdom teeth extraction. Oh, and I had my tongue pierced back when I was 19. Stupid. It didn't really hurt getting it done, but after? Owch.

5. "I'd rather have a root canal than _________________."
Have a rotting tooth? Honestly I love my dentist so much I trust him not to hurt me. He's the B.E.S.T. best.

Bonus: Does your dentist recommend Trident?
I don't know because I don't chew gum. He did suggest that I switch to some sugar-free life savers when I was dealing with my Atomic Fireball withdrawal, but I went cold turkey.

And, lest you forget, Steve Martin's brilliant turn as the Dentist from Little Shop of Horrors: